Just a Little Bit of History Repeating
by Jmaka
Summary: Post series. Luke and Lorelai are married and settling into their life together when something happens to disrupt their middle.
1. Just One Thing

Say thank you to Lukey. She knew I was wrestling with her auction story but the angst in my life transferred itself to this story and she graciously allowed me to write it first—LOL and dedicate this one to her too. So hear is some angst for you. Reviews if you want.

This should be interesting. I expect this to be wildly unpopular.

* * *

Just One Thing

Three minutes.

Lorelai wasn't sure how all her life experiences, her happiness, her future all boiled down to three minutes. One hundred eighty seconds.

Her mind flashed back to her early years. It really hadn't been much of a youth. Living in the Gilmore mansion, constantly being prodded then harangued into attending function after function, having both Richard and Emily Gilmore try to force her into a society mold brought out every rebellious notion that entered her brain. She had a combative relationship with her parents and even though she loved them, she refused to have her personality or her creativity stifled. She would live life on her own terms.

Once the stick turned pink, her outlook on life changed dramatically but she still wanted life on her terms. She wasn't going to be forced into a marriage just to maintain appearances. She wasn't going to consider abortion or adoption. She wanted this baby.

Then there was this beautiful, ethereal creature and she had given life to her. Early on after Rory was born, she realized she could not subject her to the current home environment that she suffered. She could handle it, but Emily Gilmore's approach to parenting was a complete one-eighty to her own and she worried that prolonged exposure wouldn't be in Rory's best interest. Lorelai wanted her daughter to have a happy, care-free childhood, not one filled with rigid, sterile structure.

She left as soon as she thought Rory was old enough and fled as far as she could on her limited savings. It was a bold move, to be sure, but deep inside she had a gut feeling that things would be okay. Whether it was luck, karma or her guardian angel working overtime, she found Stars Hollow, The Independence Inn and Mia and instinctively knew she had found home.

Two minutes.

It hadn't been easy. Her early life of privilege had not prepared her for the real world where most people lived but she had drive and determination to succeed. Her goal: to provide the best she could for Rory. So she'd worked hard, scrimped and saved. Looking back now, she wouldn't have traded that experience for anything in the world. As she developed her character, deciding her own standards and morals, she provided a good role model for Rory.

She and Rory grew up together in Stars Hollow. They gradually became acquainted with the residents, were accepted as part of the town and eventually became involved and active in the community. They both loved the sense of belonging that was so prevalent in small towns.

When Lorelai had first gotten off the bus in Stars Hollow, she thought it was be a good place to start. As the years wore on though, she came to realize it was the perfect place to stay and live her life. She discovered she was a small town girl at heart. She loved the pace of small town life, the quirky characters and the minor dramas of the townsfolk that sometimes eclipsed the happenings of the outside world. Yes, she was a small town girl but never dreamed she would meet the perfect small town boy in Stars Hollow.

One minute.

Luke. When she looked back over the years from when they first met, he was always the man in her life. From grumpy exchanges, on his side, to good-natured ribbing, on hers, to the slow foundation of a deep friendship which over the years melded into a deep abiding love, he had always been there with coffee and cheeseburgers, with a tool box and a snow shovel. Luke always understood that she needed her independence. He gave her wings to fly, allowed her to be her own person yet was always there if she needed someone to break her fall. He stood back while she stuck her head in the sand and went through her relationships, allowing her to explore having her own happiness while she dated until she finally came to the realization that the person she most wanted to share her life with was him.

Their relationship wasn't perfect. Even as close as they had been as friends, they had their share of growing pains adjusting to each other. They had gone through their rocky patch, broken up yet ultimately they were drawn together again, worked out their issues and finally married.

Before they got married, they'd had the serious conversation about children. As Luke had once told her when they were sitting in the bleachers at the dance marathon, with the right person, it would be a short conversation and it was: he wanted her to have his children and she wanted to have his baby. Given that they weren't getting any younger, they decided to start right away after the wedding. Married eight months now, they were still trying. This led to the here and now. She hoped this time would be the one.

Time's up.

Lorelai stood up from her perch on the edge of the bathtub and picked up the pregnancy test from the counter and stared at the indicator, slowly releasing the breath she had unconsciously been holding. She stared at it long and hard to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, then gently set it down.

As she opened the bathroom door, her gaze fell on Luke, sitting on the edge of their bed, the only outward sign of his mood, his leg jiggling nervously. He surged to his feet when he saw her and stood motionless as she approached, studying her face.

She gave him a small smile but her eyes said it all.

Luke folded her into his arms and held her close. She buried her face in his neck.

"We'll keep trying," he said softly.

Lorelai clung to Luke tightly. She loved her life, her job, her daughter and step-daughter and mostly her husband. There was never any question about that. She was happy. Yet somehow she knew she be happier still…

If she had just one thing.

tbc


	2. Blasted by the Past

Okay the first chapter was short so I double posted hoping to give y'all a sense of what's happening.

* * *

Blasted by the Past

One month later.

Luke cleared the counter then wiped it down. The lunch rush was winding down but there were enough people in the diner to keep him busy. The regulars trickled in at well-spaced intervals which made the day go by more quickly but he found himself having or rather dodging the same conversation with each and every one of them.

The bells jangled and Miss Patty sauntered in. After a quick survey of the available tables she selected on near the window. Mentally bracing himself, he approached her bearing a menu.

"Well, good afternoon Luke," Patty purred.

"Hey Patty," he greeted her quickly, hoping to avoid the same conversation "What'll you have?"

"I'll have a chef salad with oil and vinegar on the side," she replied. She drew a breath to make a comment.

"Drink?" he cut in before she could get out another word.

"Iced tea," she ordered. As he began backing away from the table, she added, "Still playing catch-up from this morning?"

Luke shot her a look before turning away without a word. The speed at which gossip made its way around this town was nothing short of amazing. He ripped off the order and passed it to Cesar. He brought Patty her tea, then sought sanctuary behind the counter, mechanically ringing out customers, his mind drifting back to this morning.

He had risen at the usual time. When the alarm had gone off, he quickly silenced it before it woke Lorelai. With a sigh, he got up, collected his clothes and headed into the bathroom.

After showering and getting dressed he came back into the bedroom and went to the dresser to retrieve his wallet, keys and cap. In the dim lighting he could clearly see his wallet and keys. His cap, on the other hand, was no where to be seen.

"Lose something?" Lorelai suddenly asked.

Luke turned and faced the bed. Lorelai was wide awake in the middle of it, half-reclining with the pillows fluffed behind her. On her head was his hat, worn backwards.

He casually walked to the foot of the bed, trying his best to look forbidding. "I need my hat," he stated.

Lorelai responded by flipping back the covers. His eyes traveled over her naked form, knowing full well she'd had pajamas on when he left the bed a short while ago. She was exquisite. She lay with one leg bent and the other flung out at an angle. Her breasts rose and fell with each breath she took, lulling him into an almost hypnotic state. She smirked at him knowingly. "Come and get it, if you're man enough," she challenged.

Luke leered at her as his fingers made quick work of his buttons and in seconds he had stripped himself. He eagerly clambered into the bed and Lorelai drew him down to her.

He marveled at her enthusiasm and even though he knew that there was a hidden agenda each time they made love, Lorelai never once showed any desperation or worry. She was always open, giving herself over to him completely. He never saw any stray emotion flicker in her eyes wondering if maybe this time would be the one.

After a prolonged and very satisfying interlude, he raised his head and smiled down into the face he loved so much. "Man enough for you?" he growled.

"Ya beat out George Clooney, hands down," she grinned at him goofily. She took off his hat that somehow managed to stay on her head during their frantic coupling and put it firmly on his head.

Luke softly kissed her lips and as she loosened her hold on him, he dropped a kiss in the valley between her breasts then slid lower, his hands roaming over her breasts to clasp her hips. He lowered his mouth and pressed a long, almost reverent kiss to her taut, velvety-soft belly. Lately that had been a favorite spot of his to kiss. He was about to move away when her hands gripped his shoulders.

"Baby's first kiss?" she queried softly.

Luke stilled and looked up into her face realizing that was just what he was doing. He gave her a small shrug. "Let's hope so."

Lorelai smiled at him in complete understanding, her hand moving to caress his cheek. "I hope so too," she said in a low voice. Their gazes locked for several long moments before he laid his cheek against her stomach both taking comfort in their embrace.

"I have to get to work," he said regretfully.

Lorelai looked at the clock. "You'd better hurry," she said. "You're going to be really late."

Luke swore when he saw the time but wasn't really angry. He pulled on his t-shirt and boxers, grumbling the whole time. "For once, let's hope Kirk isn't waiting by the door asking what took me so long."

"You want me to write you a note?" she suggested audaciously.

"And tell him what?" Luke inquired as he zipped up his jeans. His shoes and boots quickly followed. "That you seduced me back into bed? There's enough speculation around town about our sex life. I'd rather not confirm it thank you."

"Well how 'bout I take Lulu aside and maybe give her some ideas so Kirk is late showing up at the diner?" she countered.

Luke shuddered at the thought. "Thanks for that mental image," he said, fumbling with the buttons on his flannel. He went back to the dresser and scooped up his wallet and his keys then turned back to the bed. "See you later."

As luck would have it, Kirk was waiting for him when he arrived at the diner a short time later. Once Luke let him in, Kirk displayed his usual incongruous mixture of being both clueless and clairvoyant. He wondered why Luke was late, even as he speculated that Lorelai was the reason Luke's flannel wasn't buttoned properly.

Luke fed Kirk his morning oatmeal, complete with raisins making a smiley face then sent him on his way, knowing that his unusual tardiness would make the rounds before the sun had fully risen.

"Order up!" Cesar called bringing Luke back to the present.

Luke grabbed the salad and headed back to Patty's table. She watched him keenly as he approached; her eyes all over him. As he set her meal down, he forestalled her comment by saying, "Give it a rest, Patty."

"Aw honey, you don't understand," Patty explained gently. "There's been such a change in both of you since you and Lorelai married. We're all just so happy. It's like watching a fairy tale come to life."

"In your case, I would have thought it'd be like a romance story," Luke groused. "A dirty one."

"Potato, po-tah-to," Patty waved her hand. "Truthfully, it couldn't have happened to more deserving people," she said sincerely.

"Thanks, Patty," Luke said, genuinely touched that she cared so much. "But that doesn't mean you get any details," he added sternly.

Patty sighed and looked him up and down once again, the predatory gleam back in her eye. "That Lorelai is a lucky, lucky girl."

"Patty," he admonished her, somehow more comfortable now that they were back to uncomfortable footing. Behind him the diner bells jangled indicating a new customer.

"A girl can dream can't she?" she said wistfully. "In fact…" her eyes wandered off to something behind Luke and her voice tapered off.

Luke turned to see what she was staring at but didn't notice anything odd, save for a new customer now sitting at the counter. He could see it was a woman and she was blonde but that was it. He rounded the counter at the far end, pulled out his order pad then stopped in front of the woman, looking up for the first time.

"Nicole?" he blurted out.

Nicole gave him a half-apologetic smile. "Hey, Luke."

"What are you doing here?" he managed to ask. This was the first time he had seen her in years since their divorce was final. He wracked his brain for a logical excuse for her appearance. "Are you in town to see Taylor?"

"Ah, no," she said slowly, again, giving him the apologetic smile. "Actually, I'm here to see you." She glanced around the diner, noting the crowd had thinned out. "Can we go upstairs and talk?"

Luke had the presence of mind to remember how quickly the news that he was late opening up the diner got around town. If he went upstairs with Nicole…. "Uh, why don't we step outside?"

"Okay," Nicole agreed almost meekly. She got to her feet and headed towards the door.

"Cesar, I'll be back in a few," he called, following Nicole.

They crossed the street without a word, Luke unaware of the startled looks he was getting from passers-by. He led them in the direction of the gazebo and stopped near one of the empty benches. They sat on either end.

"So," Luke began uncomfortably, "you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah, I did," Nicole said, clearly having problems starting the conversation. The afternoon sun glinted off the rings on her left hand.

"You've re-married," Luke observed.

"Yeah," she agreed and looked at his hands. "So have you. Lorelai?" she guessed.

"Yes, Lorelai and I are married now. It'll be a year in a few months."

Nicole's lips tightened into a thin line as she nodded absently.

"Nicole," Luke said impatiently. "What's going on?"

"I got married a couple of months after we divorced," Nicole said randomly.

"To the guy you were seeing when we were married?" The question was out even before Luke was aware he'd asked it.

"Yes, David," she confirmed. "We've been very happy…until recently," she trailed off.

"Recently?" Luke echoed. "What happened?"

"Our son, Matthew, we had him six months after we got married," she paused then continued on, "he got sick. Very sick."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Luke said politely.

"The doctors have been running tests," Nicole said in a small voice. "He needs a bone marrow transplant."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," Luke said, his voice now conveying real sorrow and compassion for what they were going through. He had been through that hell with his own parents.

"The doctors have been running tests," Nicole repeated, "to see if either of us would be a match for the transplant but neither of us are. There were some inconsistencies so they had to run further tests." She raised her eyes to Luke's. "David had to have further tests," she amended.

"Okay," he said not sure where she was going with this.

"The doctors discovered that…David's…not…Matthew's father," she said tentatively.

"David's not…" Luke's voice abruptly stopped as he stared into Nicole's intense gaze and things began to click into place. When she got married. When she had her son. His mouth suddenly went dry, his hands shook and he shook his head. "No," he said hoarsely.

Nicole looked at him beseechingly, her voice gaining strength now that it was out. "Luke, I know this is a shock but it's you. You're Matthew's father."

He shook his head. This couldn't be true, he thought. Not now. It has to be some sort of sick joke.

"You can deny it all you want," Nicole's voice rose in determination, "but he is yours, I swear it!"

"I'm gonna need more than your word," Luke said flatly. "I need proof. I want a paternity test."

"For once we agree," Nicole replied tersely. Her voice rose with determination. "I want you to take the test to prove it. Then maybe you'll help me save our son's life!"

Her words hit him like a blow. If it was true…. Luke sprang up and walked a few steps away before rounding on her. "God! How could you've done this? How could you not let me know?" he yelled.

"I just found out myself!" she railed back at him. "Do you really think I would've kept something like this from you?"

Luke bit back his reply about it not being the first time a mother of his child had kept the information from him. His brain was suddenly filled with memories of the early days when April first showed up in his life, the hell he'd gone through to get custody, what it had done to him and Lorelai.

Lorelai. He shut his eye tightly trying to imagine how he was going to tell her this.

"Luke, please," Nicole pleaded. "The sooner you get tested the sooner we'll know and then can proceed with treatment. He's your son. He needs you."

Luke let out a slow breath, his thoughts shifting to a little boy in a hospital bed, desperately needing help—his help. He couldn't turn his back on him. He had to know the truth, one way or another. He opened his eyes and stared down at Nicole unable to speak for a moment his mind whirling in circles, trying to process everything. "I need to talk to Lorelai," he said finally, not knowing how he was going to tell her.

"Fine, tell her, but make it soon," Nicole sounded almost callous. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card and handed it to him. "Call me so we can make arrangements at the hospital. It will take time to get the results of the DNA test."

"I'll want to meet him," Luke said in a strangled voice.

"Of course, you can meet him," Nicole agreed. "He's at Hartford Memorial recovering from his latest round of chemo." She stood up. "I've got to go. I need to get back to the hospital." She laid a hand on his arm. "I hope to hear from you soon," she said meaningfully then walked away.

Luke slumped back down on the bench, his knees giving out, still overcome by the unreality of the situation. Just this morning practically everything was right with the world. And now….

His gaze wandered around the square and passed over the diner when something caught his eye and he squinted in that direction.

There in the window, was Patty and a number of other townies standing there watching. Even from where he sat he could see the troubled looks on their faces.

Luke stood up, without acknowledging them, turned away and headed toward the Inn.

tbc


	3. The Other Shoe Drops

You're all sitting down? Good! I posted! Yes, I know this took a long time. Two words: Major Illness. Pick a parent, pick me. After a bout of bronchitis followed by pneumonia I thought all desire to write was completely drained out of me but I am back at it again. Thank you for your patience.

FYI—I started this without an outline and have since outlined the remaining chapters with the hope it will make me write and post faster.

* * *

The Other Shoe Drops

"Hey Sookie!" Lorelai called out as she bounced into the kitchen. All around her the staff was busily prepping food for the evening's dinner. She inhaled deeply. "Smells good!" She picked up a canapé and began nibbling on it.

Sookie smiled at Lorelai as she continued whisking ingredients in a large bowl. She had taken Lorelai's good mood in stride when she arrived this morning, knowing something was making her happy and waiting to hear the details, but the day was passing and still she hadn't confided in her. "You've been awfully happy today," Sookie began leadingly.

"Have I?" Lorelai questioned in mock-surprise. She shrugged and grinned more broadly. "I can't imagine why," she commented blithely.

Sookie regarded her for a moment then gestured with the whisk she was holding sending spatters onto her assistants' faces and white coats. "Okay, everybody out!" she ordered.

The staff gave a collective groan but complied, now used to Sookie's sudden flighty commands. Everyone abandoned their tasks and filed out of the kitchen.

Lorelai was watching her, wide-eyed. "Why'd you do that?"

"Alright, spill," Sookie gushed. "You look like the cat that ate the canary."

"Those feathers must really tickle," she smirked.

"Lorelai!" Sookie's voice rose. "There has to be some reason for your mood today! You've been floating around like you're on cloud nine and I can only think of one explanation: you took the test today! You're pregnant!"

Lorelai immediately sobered. "Aw, honey, no. It's too soon. I'm not even late," her voice was tinged with regret but willfully she brightened. "That's not why I'm so happy."

"Well, there has to be a reason," Sookie pondered, "unless you've taken to drinking in the morning. You've been like this since you walked in today."

Lorelai's smile went back up to its brilliant wattage. "It was just a great morning with Luke."

Sookie grinned back at her, color suffusing her cheeks. "I heard he was late opening up the diner this morning," she giggled. "I guess we know why."

Lorelai's mouth rounded in surprise. "You've been here all day. How could you possibly know that?"

It was Sookie's turn to play coy. "Good news travels fast," she said enigmatically then admitted. "Kirk ran into Jackson."

"I really need to talk to Lulu," Lorelai remarked cryptically.

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Lorelai said.

"Anyway, I wondered if maybe you were celebrating this morning," she explained.

"Not yet," Lorelai stated, remaining positive, "but hopefully soon."

The kitchen door swung open and Michel strolled in. "The kitchen staff is lollygagging around the dining room. Why must you persist in having your girl-talk sessions when we have a business to run?"

"Michel, you're just jealous we didn't include you," Sookie joked.

"No," he disagreed. "I have better things to do than discuss your husbands or listen to you babble on about the insipid outfits you wear."

"But Michel, you love talking about clothes!" Lorelai exclaimed, feigning shock.

Michel straightened up smoothing the fabric on his jacket, preening slightly. "Yes but do I want to hear you liken your blue-light special wardrobe to my smooth, suave, sophisticated GQ look?" he sniffed disdainfully. "I think not."

Lorelai and Sookie amused exchanged looks. Michele had often chimed in with his two cents on practically every conversation they had about clothes.

"Anyway," Michel continued on, "the guests are wondering why the kitchen staff is all spotted. I have had to tell more than one of them that we are not having an outbreak of the measles." He gave Sookie a pointed stare. "They are also wondering why they are not in the kitchen."

"Fine," Sookie gave in, picking up the whisk again, "send them back in."

"And your husband is here," Michel added as he transferred his stare to Lorelai.

"Luke is here?" Lorelai questioned in surprise. "Why didn't you say so sooner? Why didn't you just tell him to come back here?" She walked around the prep table towards the door.

Michel picked a piece of imaginary lint off his lapel. "He seemed content to wait for you out by the desk. By the way, his wardrobe looks like it came from Wal-Mart," he observed smugly as a parting shot.

Lorelai shot him an exasperated look over her shoulder as she hurried out of the kitchen.

Luke stood with his back to the reception desk, staring pensively out the window. His walk from the diner was a blur, his mind desperately trying to figure out how to tell Lorelai about Nicole's visit. He remembered how he waited to tell her about April and how disastrously that had blown up in his face. They'd been engaged then; they were married now. How would the news affect her and their marriage?

He felt her arms slide around his waist as she hugged him from behind. "Did you come here for round two?" she cooed in his ear. "Aren't you the frisky burger boy today."

Luke grimaced, unseen, before he gently disentangled himself from her embrace. As he turned and gazed down into the happy, shining face he loved so much, he was assailed with doubts. Maybe he should wait. He knew how much this news would hurt her. Despite Nicole's proclamation, he didn't have the actual proof. He could be upsetting her needlessly. Maybe he should wait until after paternity was confirmed….

"We have to talk," he said seriously. "In private."

"Oooooh," Lorelai batted her eyes at him, surprised, but pleased he was here. "I can't believe you came here to be with lil' ole me," she simpered.

Luke shook his head. "Lorelai," he frowned at her, "this is important."

Lorelai was startled by his stern demeanor and immediately sobered. "Okay," she agreed meekly. "Let's go into my office."

Lorelai led the way then stepped back and gestured him inside. She closed the door behind them and leaned against it, watching him slump down onto the small couch.

"Luke," she said, concerned. She sat down next to him and took his hand. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Luke contemplated their clasped hands then drew a deep breath. He had to do it. He couldn't keep this from her. He blew out the breath he was holding. "I had a visitor at the diner today."

"Who?" Lorelai asked. Whoever it was, she could tell it wasn't a pleasant visit.

"Nicole."

"Nicole who?" Lorelai repeated without thinking.

Luke looked her directly in the eye. "Nicole," he stressed the name.

"Oh, Nicole," Lorelai said, finally making the connection. "What did she want?"

Luke hesitated. There was no good or easy way to say it but he couldn't just blurt it out. "She came because she needs my help," he began tentatively.

"Help with what?" she asked uncertainly. Luke was clearly bothered by the request and was acting strangely. For whatever reason Nicole needed Luke's help, Lorelai wasn't sure she wanted to know.

At Lorelai's confused look, he pressed on. "She remarried after we got divorced."

"To the guy—"

"Yeah, him," he said abruptly. "They got married and had a kid about six months later. That kid got sick recently," Luke explained. "Really sick."

"That's too bad," Lorelai offered still not following why Nicole would be telling him that.

"They were running tests to see if they were a match for a bone marrow transplant and they found out…they found out that her husband isn't the father," he said slowly. His eyes were locked on hers trying to make her understand.

Suddenly Lorelai went very still and literally stopped breathing. She got it. Her eyes widened and he saw the question in them.

He nodded. "She thinks so," he answered simply.

Lorelai gasped as she bent her head blinking furiously to stem the tide of tears that suddenly threatened to spill out. "Oh my God!"

Luke moved closer to her and laid his other hand over hers. "She said she just found out. That's why she came to see me. After she left, I came right here. I had to tell you about this, even if I'm not sure," the words tumbled from his mouth, letting her know that he'd come to her right away this time. "I couldn't keep something like this from you…again."

"You're not sure you're the father?" Lorelai echoed, latching onto his words. She met his gaze again.

"I told her I want a paternity test to confirm it," Luke stated. "She can't show up out of the blue, drop this kind of bomb and expect me to accept her word as proof."

"But back then, weren't you and she…at the same time she and the guy…?"

"Apparently." Luke hunched his shoulders uncomfortably. The last thing he wanted to do was revisit the intimate details of his first marriage.

Lorelai shut her eyes tightly, trying to marshal the feelings. She felt like she'd been sucker punched in the gut then a sinking sense of déjà vu crashed over her.

Luke watched, sick at heart as Lorelai seemed to sag into herself. Even though he still held her hand, he could feel her retreating from him. He tightened his grip.

"I know this is a lot to take in right now," he murmured, pressing on to get it all out, "but Nicole said we need to do the test soon. He's at Hartford Memorial."

"He?" Lorelai's gaze locked with Luke's.

He nodded. "A boy. They named him Matthew."

Lorelai bit her lips to keep the strangled sob from escaping. A son! When they first started trying to have a baby, she'd secretly hoped that they might have a son, since they already had Rory and April. A son would be a first for both of them. She wanted to give Luke a son. Now that dream was gone. Luke already had his son but with another woman, Nicole of all people! Sensing her distress about the sex of the child, Luke tried to pull her close.

"Don't," she shied away from him and withdrew her hand from his. At his hurt look, she replied, "I need time to process this Luke. I need to be alone."

"Lorelai—" he remonstrated.

"Please," she begged him, as a tear escaped and trickled down her cheek.

"I can't leave you like this," Luke insisted adamantly. "We have to talk."

Lorelai stood up and went behind her desk and sat down. Luke had risen also; her actions, along with the solid bulk of the desk between them, were not lost on him.

Lorelai swallowed painfully. "Luke, we'll talk about this more tonight when I get home. I-I have some things that I need to finish up here." The flimsy excuse sounded lame to her ears. At his concerned look, she added, "We will talk, I promise. Just not now. I can't do it now," she finished in a whisper. She dropped her gaze and absently began sorting through papers, doing something, anything to keep from looking at him.

Luke stood immobile, watching Lorelai rummage through the stacks on her desk, obviously dismissing him. The silence stretched out between them uncomfortably. He was heartsick, seeing her in obvious pain and knowing he was the cause of it. He wished he had the words to make everything right again, to bring that mischievous sparkle back to her eyes, to have her give him one of her brilliant smiles that made his day that much brighter, but for now he was defeated by the situation. He could only hope that when they did hash things out, she would be better.

"I'll see you at home later then," he finally managed to say.

Lorelai nodded, not trusting herself to look at him. After a moment, Luke turned on his heel and left, quietly closing the door behind him. As soon as it clicked shut, Lorelai raised her eyes, staring at the smooth wooden door panel, unable to fathom how she could've gone from heaven to hell in so short of a time.

~#~

It was early evening by the time Lorelai pulled up behind Luke's truck at home. She turned off the ignition and paused, idly noting that Luke had put the porch light on for her, like he was expecting her to come home late.

She hadn't expected it to be so. She hadn't been able to concentrate on work and spent the rest of the day holed up in her office, sitting there thinking about the bombshell that Luke had dropped. Her mind kept whirling in circles. Sookie had peeked in on her before she left for the day but Lorelai pretended to be caught up in her work and not have time to talk. Michel, too, had curiously poked his head into her office noting the lateness of the hour, but she brushed him off, all the while trying to come to grips with the newest addition to hers and Luke's piecemeal family.

It wasn't like this was a new concept, she tried to tell herself. They already had a blended family. Luke couldn't love Rory more and took a paternal pride in her accomplishments. Lorelai had long since accepted April into her life. Once the initial shock had worn off, she gotten to know and love her. To some extent, she had even accepted Anna into their lives as well. Granted they didn't see or speak to her as often as April, but once Anna had seen how wrong she had been, how Luke embraced fatherhood, she finally realized he did have April's best interests at heart. Lorelai had gone as far to think she and Anna were kindred spirits, raising children on their own, hers by necessity, Anna's by misjudgment.

But Nicole—Nicole was nothing like her or Anna. She was nothing like any of the women she knew Luke had dated. Nicole had made no secret of her animosity towards Lorelai, It showed in her demeanor, her actions and her words. Lorelai knew, without being told, that Nicole blamed her for the failure of her marriage to Luke. Would Nicole's viewpoint affect the relationship Luke would have with his son? How would they all handle this?

Lorelai dragged herself out of the Jeep. Lights were on in the living room and the kitchen, something that had always welcomed her in the past. Now she was uncertain about entering her own home. Warily she mounted the steps, opened the door and closed it behind her quietly.

Standing still in the foyer, she listened carefully. Small noises came from the kitchen and as she inhaled deeply and stiffened her spine to prepare for the coming discussion. She could smell food—real food. Lorelai realized Luke was baking lasagna, his specialty and one of her favorites. She slipped off her shoes and padded to the kitchen, observing him unnoticed as he placed slices of Italian bread on a baking sheet. The table was beautifully set complete with lighted candles.

"Hey," she greeted him. He immediately stopped what he was doing, to walk over and kiss her hello. "What's all this?"

"I made dinner," he said, stating the obvious. "I do that every night."

"I know you make dinner every night," she replied, "but candles? It's kind of fancy." She noticed Luke had removed his hat but was still wearing jeans and flannel. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion," he shrugged, making his way back to the stove and resumed his task. He wanted to keep things low key, hoping to ease back into the conversation from this afternoon so they could really talk. Lorelai walked over to the table and sat down to watch.

There was a long pause where neither said anything.

"I called Nicole when I came home," Luke broke the silence. "She said tomorrow would be a good time to meet him and have samples taken for the DNA test. She's spoken to the doctor."

Lorelai nodded absently to herself, not so much agreeing with Luke, but now understanding why he'd gone to such trouble for dinner and the fancy table. So much for talking, she thought. He was forging on ahead without her.

"Wow, that was fast," she commented, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice but failing.

Luke heard it and turned to her. "Lorelai, what do you expect me to do here?" he said defensively. "I don't like the situation any better than you do, but we have to remember there's a sick boy who needs my help. I don't have a lot of options."

"I know that!" she gritted out, irritated with both herself and him.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked trying to be patient.

"You!" Lorelai blurted out. "Her! I don't understand how this happened!"

Luke looked at her like she was crazy. "You don't understand how this happened?"

"No," she said quickly. "Not that! I know how it happened!" Luke stood there, silently trying to figure out what she was trying to say. "Its just that of all people…you two are nothing alike! You have no common background or interests! That's what I'm having a problem with! What could have possessed you to start dating Nicole?"

"You really want to know my reason?" Luke asked, aggravated. "Fine, I'll tell you. Think back, right around the time I met Nicole. Think long and hard."

Lorelai paused, trying to remember.

"You were, knocking yourself out trying to learn how to fish to impress some guy," Luke filled in the blanks. "And I was the idiot who taught you. It never once occurred to you that we could date."

Lorelai cringed as she recalled his lesson and how reluctantly she told him about Alex. She'd been leery of telling Luke about her suitors. "Luke, how was I supposed to know?" she asked in her defense. "You never asked me out. You never let me know you were interested."

"Maybe I should have," he agreed, still sensitive about it after all the time that had passed, "but it seemed like you weren't interested in me. There you were dating an outdoorsy guy and I realized that I was never gonna have a chance with you."

"Luke—"

"Nicole came into the diner," Luke cut across her words. "She was nice. She liked me." He met her gaze squarely then. "I figured why not? So I asked her out to dinner. I was tired of always being alone."

"But you married her!"

"Do I have to go through this again?" Luke asked clearly frustrated. "I told you how it was on the cruise! You were the one who encouraged me to go on that stupid vacation with her!"

"So it's my fault?"

"No!" The word exploded from Luke's lips. "I made the mistake by getting married, me. His voice got quieter as he went on. "Nicole was there and we had some good times together. I figured I should try to find happiness with someone else since you didn't want me," he finished in a low voice. He turned back to the stove.

"Luke…" Lorelai's voice trailed off, sensing his pain, knowing there was no way to make up for the past. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "It must have been difficult for you. But it doesn't make it easier to understand how you could have married her."

Luke sighed, busying himself at the stove. "No, it doesn't," he agreed, "but I get it. It's the same way I feel about you marrying Christopher."

Lorelai gasped in surprise. "Wow. You go right for the throat don't you?" She bent her head and focused on the table.

Luke shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, knowing he'd hurt her. He turned back to her. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

Lorelai shook her head. "No, I guess I do understand. I was in the same boat," she replied in a small voice. "After that conversation we had in the grocery store where you told me we weren't right for each other…. Christopher was there and it seemed like my last chance. I went for it thinking you didn't want me." She sniffed quietly.

Luke sat down at the table and covered her hand with his own. "Lorelai, neither of us were saints when we were younger. We both have a past and we both made some huge mistakes." He leaned forward to catch her eye. "We can keep beating each other up over it or we can decide, here and now, to leave the past in the past and go on from here. I'm not saying it will be easy. I have my issues with Christopher and you have yours with Nicole, but we have to try." As she nodded in agreement, he reached up and stroked her cheek, "I love you. I want to be with you. I can't say it any plainer than that."

Lorelai gave Luke a watery smile. "I love you too. There's no one else I'd ever want to be with."

"Good," Luke leaned over and gave her a soft kiss then rose. "Now let me finish dinner. You must be starving."

Lorelai took a deep breath and watched him pull the lasagna out of the oven. Her gaze wandered over the table then back to him. "Luke, I know you would do whatever it takes to help your son out—that's just how you are. You have to know I am behind you one hundred percent on this." She gestured to the stove and the table. "You didn't have to go to all this trouble to convince me."

Luke turned back to her with an anxious, but hopeful smile. "I didn't do this to convince you that I needed to help," he stated honestly. "It's the right thing to do. I did this to convince you to come to the hospital with me," he confessed.

Lorelai's jaw sagged as she took in his words. She felt a rush of elation. He wanted her there when he met his son for the first time. "Really?" she asked afraid she was dreaming.

"Really," Luke confirmed. "I want you to meet him too. He's going to be a part of our lives."

Lorelai got up and went to him. She placed her hands on either side of Luke's face and pulled him down to give him a blistering kiss. Luke wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Does that mean yes?" he asked when he raised his head.

"Add some more cheese to the Italian bread and you gotta a deal, mister," she replied with a saucy wink.

Luke hugged her close once again then turned and reached for the cheese.

tbc


End file.
